10.14.2015

body image in the Asian culture










A sweet coworker asked if I gained weight. To which I responded, I am still trying to loose weight. Then i laughed. I was not offended. In fact,  I  thought the remark was funny. 

Then my coworker said: oh okay, it's your dress. It's just tight.

I agreed. I have not worn a bodycon dress in awhile because I am too conscious of the body hugging material. But this print is just so cute... and I did not mind showing the mommy pooch that bore 4 kids. ha.

Those blunt, honest and in-your-face comments are not common in the US. But they sure are in the family setting and most specially the Asian culture. 

I learned at a young age that skinny is the way it should be. Toned muscles in a woman are even frowned upon by my relatives. Since the Philippines is a third world country,~30 % of the population live below the poverty line. 

My family valued a little bit of weight in one's cheeks or arms because that means we can afford food and we are not sleeping hungry. Yet, I got made fun of in grade school because of my chubbiness. That obviously planted a bad seed in my mind... I need to be skinny. 

outside my family, specially in the media, if you are not a small or extra small, you can be regarded as "fat". Since I wear a medium or large (philippine sizes), then I guess I am fat?

i am only 5'2 but I am taller compared to a lot of Filipinas. The average Filipina height is just below 5 feet. I came back in 2007 and was amazed that i was taller than some folks at the mall -- which is the opposite here in the US. Here, i look like a dwarf (well maybe not... i am exaggerating).










I am trying to change my thinking and redefine true beauty and strength. Yes, I have known that what's inside is true beauty. I have known that since I was young. It's the kindness from within that shows true beauty. 

But in terms of body image, I am not afraid to "toned up" anymore. 
Funny story, I freaked out that I started developing defined biceps when I was 14. Therefore I quit Karate-Do (Karate and Taekwondo). That's the real reason why I am only a yellow belt. I wish I knew better then and continued my martial arts training. 

Yes, i still wish i am skinny. but that was my pre-momma body. That was my pre-development of hips and curves. We all want to be tall and supermodel looking. But since I was not blessed with height and no curves, I gotta love what I have.

With what I have, I can be strong.
That mental change of "loosing weight" and shifting my mindset to "getting stronger everyday" helped me get out of the weight loss funk. I stopped stepping on the scale which I did almost every day. I stopped freaking out with the numbers flashing on my face. (well, i still do.. because I am just like that... and I am impatient)

I love it that I can now do many reps when weight lifting. I love it that I can carry that carseat without fatiguing easily. I love it that I can do a REAL push-up.. even though after 3 real ones, i am back on my knees. 

I love my toned shoulders. They push me to work more and tone the rest of my body. 

Skinny does not mean strong. That's what I tell myself.
Strong is the new sexy... that's what i want to place in my vocab. 










outfit details, if it's pink, it's a link. i may make a few cents if you purchase using my links -- at no extra cost to you. 


dress via zulily
wedges || similar




Linking up with HollySarahDorandaMorgan, LeanneElizabeth, Elena,  Madeline,  SydneyDanielleGraceBrooke.

Thank you for reading! I can be found on:
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7 comments:

  1. You are a beautiful lady♥ Love the outfit♥♥

    summerdaisy.net

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lovely style for you, this change makes you more beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you... getting stronger everyday. :)

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  3. I think you look gorgeous in that dress! Having married into the Asian culture I understand what you mean about how blunt Asians tend to be about things people are usually sensitive about here in the US. I tend to gain at least 40 lbs with pregnancy because I'm naturally thin - and in the first trimester my in-laws were always telling me to eat more, gain more because I was too skinny; realistically though I know my body and I was very healthy and by the end I had gained PLENTY of weight to have healthy babies! And I know some women who naturally don't gain much pregnancy weight either. Different cultures always have different perceptions about what makes someone healthy and/or beautiful so at the end of the day we can't listen to the outside world telling us how we "should" look. Good for you for recognizing there's no shame in having a body that grew 4 babies or for being strong. You look awesome. Keep up the positive work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think you look gorgeous in that dress! Having married into the Asian culture I understand what you mean about how blunt Asians tend to be about things people are usually sensitive about here in the US. I tend to gain at least 40 lbs with pregnancy because I'm naturally thin - and in the first trimester my in-laws were always telling me to eat more, gain more because I was too skinny; realistically though I know my body and I was very healthy and by the end I had gained PLENTY of weight to have healthy babies! And I know some women who naturally don't gain much pregnancy weight either. Different cultures always have different perceptions about what makes someone healthy and/or beautiful so at the end of the day we can't listen to the outside world telling us how we "should" look. Good for you for recognizing there's no shame in having a body that grew 4 babies or for being strong. You look awesome. Keep up the positive work!

    ReplyDelete

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