Lucas' birth story

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I have waited the longest for you, baby Lucas. I was already off of work since you were 38 weeks gestation. I did everything to get you moving... well, not quite everything, since I did not have the eggplant parmigiana that my friend, Mer, used to get baby Sammy out.  But I went for walks, I had my pedicure done. I went back to furniture-making.  I ate spicier food.


I even made a VLOG the day before you were born. Funny that once least expected, that's when labor will start right?

Thursday morning:
I woke up late. I was not sleeping well for a few weeks before Lucas was born. Since I did not go to work, I was able to sleep in. I already asked hubs to telework on Thursday. (like I knew something was up). the real reason was I did not want to show up at Bastian's preschool, large and still pregnant.

postpartum blues

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those postpartum blues are real.


i feel sad... why do I feel sad? i smell my baby's head. I see my children run and play. Yet I feel sad.

My husband asks me a question.  I did not want to answer. I did not want to converse at all. Like there is no reason to talk so why answer.  I know it's rude. But why am I mean to him? He did not do anything wrong.


It's 11:45pm. Instead of sleeping when my baby sleeps, I am here sitting at the loveseat, staring at the moonless, cloudy night. I did not do this before. I was either knocked out because I need sleep or busy, busy, busy doing something and checking off my to-do list. Yet I am sitting here, about to cry.

Cry... Those postpartum blues are real. Why am I suddenly crying for no reason?
I am sleep-deprived. I am tired. I am adjusting. I am constantly counting how many children are in my field of vision. If not all 5 are  accounted for, I go through my head where one (or two or more!) child(ren) is/are located.

Thoughts of failure and defeat enter my mind. I try to push them away. But they keep coming back. I just cry. Cry... then hopefully afterwards I will feel so much better. lighter.

That's the hope, at least.



Photo taken by hubs. Postpartum blues has not hit me yet. Just the tired face of a mama who went through an unmedicated birth. 

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floral + light pink {Sunday Best}

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Floral dress, Macy's, exact one

Chanel lambskin, silver hardware, jumbo

similar for a splurge, similar for less (Guess.... DKNY)

Naturalizer sandals, sold out

option 1, option 2, option 3

lip gloss only

First Mass as a family of seven. We made it to church 20 minutes before Mass started yippee! Lucas was crying and needed to nurse. I did not want to nurse him at home because it would have taken him 30 minutes which meant we will be late. so we drove the short drive to church and got there with plenty of time to get "settled."

As usual, the fun parent was an usher. 3 out of 5 kids (the ones awake) followed him to greet people. Bastian and Lucas were knocked out. So much for feeding the baby. He fell asleep and slept through the entire Mass.

likes + shares + outfit post this first week postpartum {seven quick takes}

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1. Happy one week old, baby Lucas! I am still typing his birth story. It will be published soon.  We are all adjusting being a family of seven.  Lucy is having the hardest time. She is loving on the baby but wants to cuddle and be held when we are holding Lucas. I am not surprised with her actions. She's still a  baby and the transition is going to be a process.



2.  To hide those dark circles: wear mirrored sunglasses. These are the ones I am wearing (sold out, but found on eBay). I got a new pair, much cheaper {only $12!} and will be featured here on another blog post. New pair comes in 2 colors, metallic and burgundy. I got the metallic which is more rose gold.













3. For my pregnant mamas out there...
This is for your postpartum bottom ~ so refreshing and cooling. GET ONE NOW. you will thank me.


4. My feet and fingers are more swollen a week postpartum compared to the last days of pregnancy. I did not want to deal looking for sandals that would be comfortable right now. so flipflops it is.
These ones I am wearing here are nearing the end of life. I got this pair and this pair. I am definitely a REEF-fan.

first mother's day with five babies + prayer requests

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Dress, shopbop

Reef, ginger flipflops

earrings, Nickel and Suede

Anne Klein, watch and bracelet set in rose gold

Floral dresses from shopbop

        

love the print of this dress (got it on sale!)

then the rose gold watch and bracelet set is a good accessory. 

Hubs took over 30 photos of our attempt at showcasing 5 babies this Mother's Day.  The middle 2 (not called younger two anymore!) did not cooperate. Surprised? never.



On other updates:
--- recovery is different this time. I am anemic to begin with. I was not tolerating my Prenatal vitamins nor the Iron supplements prescribed around 2nd trimester.  So with some blood loss during delivery, my Hgb is even lower. I cannot stand for long periods of time because I get lightheaded and dizzy. Orthostatic blood pressure was done while at the hospital and as I have expected my BP went down from sitting to standing.


--- I got dressed for pictures. I felt fine most of the day and thought I could be dropped off alone for Sunday afternoon Mass. But then, I started feeling dizzy again -- thank you sleep deprivation and anemia.
scroll or click link below.....