Gap Chambray top (similar) // Purple Tutu ~ gift // Saltwater Sandals via eBay
Trying to get this post uploaded before the linkup ends... I am late joining the fun. But since 5/21's link-up is about body image and I was already going to post something about my little girl ~~ then might as well do it now right?
For those who have been readers of this blog, there is no surprise that my little Isabel is such a girly-girl. One reason why I was hoping for 4 boys/sons (yup, crazy wish!) is that I am afraid to raise a girl. I *mostly turned out alright (!) but I have this fear that I would not know how to be a good role model for my daughters. Of course, I am thankful that I have her. She is a sweetheart. She is a girly-girl. She loves fashion, dressing up and all-things-princesses.
I tried not to introduce Disney princesses or Barbie to her. But when there is something you try so hard not to do ~ it ends up happening anyway!
A few nights ago, I had this conversation with her:
Isabel: now i am princess. I will find my prince and go to a big castle.
Me: you are always a princess... because you are God's princess.
Isabel: Jesus does not have princesses. Princesses live in castles, not with Jesus.
Granted, this conversation is with my 3 year old. I cannot really reason with her. I was surprised with her comeback and I did not have anything to say after.
Another conversation: she was playing with her play make-up given by a friend. She used the make-up brush and pretended to place something on her face.
Isabel: now I am beautiful.
Me: you are always beautiful, sweetheart. God made you beautiful. You do not need make-up to be beautiful.
Am I going overboard? Am I looking for every single opportunity and teaching her every little second or chance I get? When is too much - too much? or when is "what I am doing" not enough?
I really believe that talking with our girls/daughters about body image, beauty, sex, marriage and life HAS to happen. I never really had a 'talk' with my mom or grandma about those things growing up. I was already in college exploring and learning about relationships sexuality, dating etc when they started talking to me about it. I also have body image issues. I was chubby growing up. I slimmed down once I hit puberty. But I always have this bad feeling about "weight gain", "flabby arms" and fat. Hence, the battle inside me when I gain weight during pregnancy. I was made fun for my weight when I was young. So now, yes, I have gained another 40 lbs (yikes!) and I am sad about that.
But that sadness cannot be the only thing I show my daughter. And I am happy to say: that's not what I show her. I am happy I am carrying another blessing. God gave me this opportunity to be co-creator with him. Being a mom, with the big belly and "battle scars and all" is the best thing I have ever done.
Our bodies are beautiful and I want to show that to my daughter. I want to be an example.
Sex and love are beautiful gifts. I want her to wait until somebody as perfect as HIS ONE TRUE prince comes along. {Nobody can really be as perfect as Jesus -- but anybody as close to saintly as my husband is good enough for my daughters}.
I may be afraid but I cannot be paralyzed by fear all the time.
Any tips for this mom? Those with daughters, how do you handle day-today teachings or opportunities? I am all ears!
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Right there with you! The other day Evie was upset because her hair isn't blond and curly- and she's 3!! I am not ready to deal with body image issues of my children, esp. when I'm struggling with 3 years of pregnancy weight gain myself...
ReplyDeleteAlso, my mom never really had "the talk" with me either, or even about things like dating, so I feel like I'm floundering in that area (for when the time comes to talk to my girls). Jenny U. and Simcha Fisher had some good posts on that, though, so I'm book marking them for future reference!
Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mama. :)