it's a beautiful day to save lives

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The stress and anxiety I am feeling right now brought back the anxiety I felt during residency. How in the world did I survive 5.5 years of training? I pumped myself up before call. I gave myself lots of pep talk while I walked briskly to the ER for another 3a consult. Even though I am not a surgeon, I channeled my best McDreamy impersonation and said "It's beautiful day to save lives" before a 30-hour hospital shift. Staying positive and strong was the only way to make it through. That or just to keep busy so no thoughts of hunger or anxiety can creep in.

Today on doctor's day, I opened my instagram and read about a NY endocrinologist who started her week at the hospital wards. About a week ago, she had a crash review course for non-intensivists (nonICU clinicians). Think about your doctors managing hormone meds (thyroid, diabetes, growth hormone). These are the doctors who are being asked to help cover busy NY hospitals filling up with acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) because of SARS-COV-2.

Those are the things that we hope won't happen here in Indiana. But guess what, it happened in Italy (still happening).  Retired physicians coming back to practice to help care of the sick. Pathologists, those doctors looking at slides in their labs or looking at biopsies or performing autopsies were back on the frontlines. It is happening in NY. It can happen anywhere.

I was concerned about the NY student doctors who volunteered  to graduate early and start intern year in April instead of July. I remembered the stress and that steep learning curve as a first year resident doctor. I was not in the midst of a pandemic when I was at the ER. But they will be. They are being thrown to the line of fire.

My husband did not share the same concern. He said, "it's all hands on deck... Trial by fire... It's similar to the 14 and 15 yo boys being sent to fight during the civil war or the revolutionary war."

War. He was right.  This is definitely war. War disrupts everything. Life as we know it is over. Everybody is suffering. Everybody is struggling. Whether it's cabin fever; unemployment, mental health issues and lack of support; social isolation; lack of childcare; threat of bankruptcy; lack of personal protective equipment; fear, anxiety, worrying; the uncertainty; the ever-changing, fluidity of the situation... We are all in this together.

To all my peers, happy doctor's day. It is a beautiful day to save lives.

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