why the blogging silence?

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Top, Jcrew, found it in petite and pink
Skirt, Hautelook
YSL tribute sandals, bought on summer designer sale, full price here
Gucci disco bag, love, love this neutral bag

 

 

necklace, Jcrew,, similar
watch, MK

 

It was an unintentional blogging hiatus. I wanted to blog but no desire to turn on laptop or take outfit photos or upload or resize them for the blog.

This was a late summer outfit. I did not get a chance to post it before the craziness of  September-October-November.

 

Seems like, hubs and I went to our 10 year anniv trip, then I was off to Vancouver for conference. It was a busier autumn than what I would have wanted.

 

 

splurge here for YSL tributes
look for less here with a look-a-like! fraction of the price!

 

 

One other confession:

 

I did not mean to wean off of my happy meds. Lucy was playing with the bottle (eeeek!) and then I could not find it. Derrick placed it somewhere... Few days later, I saw it on the counter. I forgot some doses at that point.... Then I just said, well let's just not take the meds and see....

 

 

BAD, BAD, BAD idea.

 

I was already not feeling well around the time I weaned off my meds. I was sick, not feeling well. I traveled. I was sleep deprived.

 

Finally, it was hubs who told me with a loving tone that maybe it's time to start taking the meds again. My husband who did not believe in meds or neurochemical imbalance or whatever or even postpartum depression --- actually asked me to start taking my meds again.

 

He believes in postpartum depression now since he saw me at the lowest, lowest, lowest point in 2010 after birthing baby #2. Then he saw the transformation, with meds, a few weeks later. I was still stressed and moody but I was at least, getting up, more engaged with my children. I was actually present.

 

I wrote something about my PPD battle in one of my quicktakes from 2013... I really did not want to talk about it then obviously.

 

 

 I liked it that I cried lots when off of meds. I am watching Supergirl and I am crying? yes, I did. that's one thing maybe I did not like being on a tiny dose of happy meds. It blunted my crying sprees.


But without it, specially when already feeling sick, it was not a good time to rock the boat even more. I went to just "functioning" but zombie mode.


I did not like getting up in the morning.
I did not want to play with my kids.
I did not like being a doctor.
I stopped posting my 366 daily photos....

I boycotted them all.


Most of all, my loving husband saw that I was different.

I wish I can say, my diet is so good that I don't need meds. Or that I am living a healthy life that's why I am  doing well but not really. I am still eating processed food and lots of carbs.  Those things don't help with my mood.

I know I can do better with my prayer life though. That's one thing I could always work on.

I did learn something from this trial-off-of meds.
it's a bad idea to forget taking meds or do lots of life changes, when one is already sick or not feeling well.

It's hard to be loving and kind when I was feeling crappy inside (sick physically and mentally). Not that that's my excuse.
It should not be my excuse...

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